I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you. Friedrich Nietzsche
We live among liars. They are in our government, our work places, our communities, and unfortunately even in our homes. Maybe you are the one lying. If you are, it’s just a matter of time before you are found out. Stop it now and you may have a chance of repairing the damage.
After a while, the stress of maintaing a lie takes it’s toll and a liar yearns to be found out. If you haven’t seen The Machinist, it’s an unforgettable movie with an outstanding performance by Christian Bale, and an extreme example of the consequences of lying and denial.
How do you know someone is lying?
- Mechanical gesturing or the sense of rehearsal
- Inconsistent eye contact: lack of, too much, or eye darting
- Hands close to body
- Touches ear or other facial parts
- Change in voice pitch-higher
- Repeats your words verbatim
- Subtle shoulder shrugging
- Inconsistencies in details
Now that you know you are being lied to, how to handle it can be tricky.
The best way out of a lie is to tell the truth. As Tolstoy said,
...anything is better than lies and deceit.