The Secret of Likability in 4 Simple Steps

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you. Dale Carnegie

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.
Dale Carnegie

We all want to be liked. Do you obsessively check the number of likes on a post or how many favs you got on a tweet? Hey, it’s cool, I do it too.  But not as much as I used to. I’ve learned the secret of likability, and it starts by shifting my focus from me to you.

Dale Carnegie

#1 Eyes Off Self:  If you want people to like you, or maybe the better way to phrase it is if you want to have genuinely successful people encounters, then ditch your ego, bag the bragging, and give your undivided attention to the person before you. People long to be heard. To have someone take an interest in you, to want to know you, what your interests are, where you’ve traveled, what you like and don’t like, what makes you happy. It’s wonderful to be noticed. You don’t have to be witty.  No need to try to solve problems.  Simply show you are really interested.

#2 Talk From the Same Level:  If he is sitting, you sit.  Make eye contact, keep your arms uncrossed, listen intently.  A light, casual touch on a shoulder. Greet warmly with a hearty handshake, take a step towards the person. He should get the sense that the world has stopped and at that moment you want nothing more than to hear and understand what he is saying.

See eye to eye.

See eye to eye.

#3 Talk at the Same Level:  Don’t use jargon or fustian vocabulary.   Save that for your blog posts.

fustianAnd, say their name.  If you forgot it, admit it and ask for it again. If you suck at this, I am serious, work on it. Learn how to remember names, and you will blow minds – your likability gauge will break glass!

Say my name.

Say my name.

#4 Smile and Sincerity:  No fake cheesy smiles.  Give the smile that says I’m glad to see you, I like you, and I am here for you. Then be there for them.  Do they need a job lead, an introduction, or some wisdom? An invitation to a professional seminar, or a networking event? Maybe even a book recommendation, one that taught you something so phenomenal it would be a sin to keep it to yourself?

It’s not that hard to be liked.  The more you follow these principles the better you’ll get at boosting your likability, and ultimately making yourself happier in the process.

How about you, what’s your secret to likability? 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>